Sunday, January 8, 2012

brain's overheating

there has been numerous occasions in which i have started writing blurbs rants about my baby daddy drama and how there are moments i loathe the air he breathes. however, i am that person, no guts. i stop myself and quietly reprimand myself for even thinking that it was remotely alright to air my dirty laundry.

but why isn't it?

i think that my biggest reasoning is that one day my children will be old enough to read and i would like them to find my blog and it be well-received. i guess out of respect for them and the fact that he happens to be their father i should treat him how they'd expect me to. so for now, i bite my lip & move forward without dousing the internets with my extreme sailor's tongue and diarrhea of the mouth.

this weekend was none other than kid-free. i enjoy my time for just me, but i miss the nuggs a lot. a lot can't even describe it. although mentally it is definitely needed, i hate when they aren't in their own home; sleeping in their own beds; playing with their toys that lay dormant while they aren't home. they do come home with tales of excitement. i guess hindsight is 50/50.

michelle and i discussed today my feelings on how my children spend most of their time with my exes wife's family. they seem to spend more time there than at their dad's house. at first i thought i had a problem with it. however, now i find myself thinking quite differently. i actually think the nuggets are pretty lucky to have such a stable and large group of loving people surrounding them. pretty special if you ask me. i am 100% for them having his wife's parents in their life as long as it's healthy; so far so good. who was it that said it takes a village to raise a child? i guess the saying is true. my children definitely have many people helping to shape who they are whether they are directly related or not. all are considered their family.

i was happy to receive them back tonight. of course they stayed up late and even though they were playing and enjoying the items they missed while they were gone it felt good that the silence was broken and toys were no longer dormant.

bedtime was a chore as it generally is the night they come home. lots of drama with lou. but it's safe to say they are sleeping soundly and this is me signing off for the night.
until tomorrow.
louloubirdie before bedtime. ballerincess ;)

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